I met Jeanne in the spring of 1989 when she was the only one who showed up for an outdoor painting class I had advertised. I had called her that morning, pointing out that it was pouring rain out but we could paint a garden from a porch if that was all right. "Hell, ya!" she said.
She showed up in her bright yellow rain coat, red wellies and a pink and purple turban. It didn't take long to find out she was in the midst of chemotherapy treatments for breast cancer. "But I'm fine," she said with a big smile.
Over the summer she was in my painting classes twice a week. We painted all over Cape Cod in all sorts of weather and with all sorts of people. We talked about everything. She was old enough to be my mother but that didn't bother either one of us. We became fast friends and as the classes went on we added to our entourage. Our favorite companion was a 21 year old Irish girl named Aine who was studying to be a doctor but wanted to be an artist. She had one summer in the states before going back to Dublin and she was determined to do as much painting as she could.
The three of us laughed and painted and drank enough tea and coffee to float many boats. We knew where every public restroom on Cape Cod was by the time fall had rolled around. Aine returned to Ireland and other students wimped out when the weather turned cold but Jeanne and I painted from the car when we had to and found lots of protected places that allowed us to paint outdoors, even in January. It was January when Jeanne found out her cancer was back to stay.
By April we were painting daffodils in one of our favorite gardens and by May we were back at our favorite view at Fort Hill in Eastham. By mid May she was too tired to go out painting and by the end of June it was over.
I can't even begin to tell you the lessons I learned from this amazing brave, creative and inspiring woman. She was so smart and so funny that she could make you laugh about just about anything, including cancer. She was insightful and forgiving, honest and accepting. She lived her life fully right up to the last few days when she finally lay down and went to sleep surrounded by her loving family.
I never thought I'd get breast cancer when I was hanging around with Jeanne painting and laughing and eating lunch sitting on the hood of my car overlooking the ocean. It didn't run in my family like it did in hers. I listened to her concern for her daughters but neither of us really considered I would some day be at risk.
My cancer was caught early and I was able to escape with minimal treatment, for now anyway. One thing I've learned about breast cancer is that once you have it most doctors now consider it a chronic disease. Will it come back and get me? I can't worry about it too much. If I learned anything from my friend Jeanne it was to get out there and do what you want to do. Don't accept second best. Go for the best, in yourself, in your work, in your personal life, everywhere. Don't put off anything. Every day is new. Every day is the best we've got to work with right now.
Love you, Jeanne--and thanks for everything!
What's your story?