I've been doing a lot of what I call watercolor sketches in my moleskine lately. It should tell you a lot about my frame of mind and attention span. I always joke that I must have a bit of ADD and seriously, I have not been able to sit still for more than about 5 minutes over the last few days. I'm figuring things out and somehow that means I have to be moving. Does being in motion somehow help the flow of my thoughts? Perhaps.
It looks like I will be giving up my retail space within the year. Most of my business is coming from wholesale accounts, designer referrals or from my website as well as this blog. Last month only 10% of my sales came from my shop. As you might imagine I have a fair amount of overhead and I'm thinking I should reconsider keeping this space.
The truth is I really hate being tied down in the shop. I would like to have a studio where clients could come and where I might have an occasional show but really I just like the work space.
I miss my work as a naturalist and I miss my freedom to be able to go out and paint when the weather is fine and the mood is better....
My landlords have been very patient with me but I don't think they'll be heartbroken to see me go. I need to stay in the residential space for now but if they have someone interested in the space I would be willing to let it go. I would like to stay another month so I can have a big sale but I will do what works for them. If they don't have a tenant in mind and would like me to stay through the summer I will try and find another artist to share the space, cost and responsibility with. In the meantime I am hoping to secure some seasonal naturalist work to get myself back outside for the spring, summer and fall.
I've been feeling pretty discouraged this past week. I'm in debt, I'm not happy with my painting or my apparent lack of abilities and I've just been feeling overwhelmed. It's only a temporary thought and today I'm feeling much better. Part of that is feeling like I'm starting to make decisions that are once again in alignment with my goal of wanting to be a better artist living in harmony with my integrity.
If you're a fellow artist reading this, how do you deal with these setbacks in creative input and output? How do you deal with your financial life? I've always supported myself as an artist but it's also been a pretty hand to mouth existence. Right now it's below that. Trying to maintain the retail space has put me in pretty substantial debt and I am now at the threshold of my comfort zone. I can't and won't accumulate any more. I'm not giving up on my business, just the place where I do it. I will go back to wholesaling my work, which actually gives me much more freedom.
These little sketches are fun to do. They are quick but very concentrated. They may look very loose but it takes a fair amount of energy to keep all that free flowing water where I want it. There's much more control in these than you may want to believe. Many of my students bemoan the fact that their attempts at being "loose" fall apart. And yes, that is what happens if I don't pay attention to all the running water and color. Experience has taught me where and when to push and pull the color, when to add more, when to be patient and let it dry just a bit.
That's true of so much, isn't it? What looks easy and simple is actually often the result of much practice and attention. We have to bring our patience as well as our willingness to be spontaneous to whatever we do. It is good to have an idea of what may happen next but also to be open to the adventure that awaits us in every moment. I think this robin agrees with that thought...